Book Reviews

before i die- jenny downham

this book really depressed me. [the main character, tessa, was dying of leukemia] i actually didn't like her. she always used her disease as an excuse. the whole book was kind of like "the bucket list." [pretend that's underlined ms. lindsay] where she wrote things she wanted to do before she died on her wall, & then did them. i thought most of the things were pretty stupid- like one day she had to say yes to everything. [she ended up in a river with a homeless guy] another day she went shoplifting. shoplifting? honestly lady... of course she got caught- & of course she used her illness as an excuse. too bad for her the manager didn't really care.



heavy metal and you- christopher krovatin

this book was hysterically funny!!!! i couldn't stop laughing at what the characters said to each other. the story line was pretty much like any love story movie- guy likes girl. girl likes guy. friends don't like the match. i think this is probably one of my favourite books of all time. the main character- a teenage metal head who is into alcohol/cigs/pot/MUSIC, falls for this preppy girl who is completely straight edge. & like any couple, they become totally oblivious to the world around them & completely forget about their friends. it's a predictable plot line, but the way it's written makes it extraordinary.



crunch time- mariah fredericks

interesting book, appeals to high school students. kind of like "the breakfast club." [pretend that's underlined ms. lindsay] four kids, each from a different clique, get together to study for their SAT's. max, is daisy's best friend, & is hopelessly in love with her. daisy, a nonchalant kinda chick, falls for leo who's a macho jerk. leo, is hopelessly in love with leo, but fools around with daisy anyway. & jane? she's just there cause her mum's famous. then one day after they've taken their SAT's... DUN DUN DUUUUUN... the school finds out that someone cheated on their score. it's kinda obvious though. i was like "FRIGGING DUH IT'S ____."



love sick- jake coburn

a pretty stupid book to be honest. there's this girl who's anorexic, her father knows it, so hires this guy to spy on her. only the guy is an alcoholic... he falls in love with her [big surprise] & starts lying to the father. the girl finds out he's spying on her, so the guy-her-dad-hired gets upset & drinks until he's totally hammered. then he does this really radical thing that [im my opinion] is incredibly stupid. stupid book- don't read it.



vampire academy- richelle mead

this book is super passionate. it's about two girls, one of them is a vampire [who has secret powers no one knows about], & the other is her "guardian." the guardian girl is kinda of a... rebel? she doesn't listen to anyone, punches people she doesn't like, drinks until she pukes, & wears short dresses. early in the year the two girls ran away from their academy, but got caught by these vampire FBI blokes. so now they're under constant watch, & the guardian girl has to take guardian lessons from this super sexy & mysterious russian guy who she lusts for. but in the academy there's this evil force who's trying to steal the vampire's secret powers. it's a pretty intriguing book, & richelle mead does a good job at making the reader feel the same way about the russian guy as the guardian.


vampire diaries, the fury & the dark reunion- l. j. smith

it's a series of books about this girl -elena- & how she falls in love with this vampire named... STEFAN! [heh heh heh] i hate hate hate hate HATE elena. she's this popular girl at her school who thinks everyone loves & adores her. the first book was really good -the awakening & the struggle- but then elena died in the end of it. so in the second book, she's a vampire but lives in this spirit world of this dark force. it kinda sucks though, cause stefan has a brother, damion [what's up with the names?], who tries to steal elena away from him. so when she dies, & then is reborn, she's in love with damion- wrong guy sweetie. i didn't particularly like it. i mean the main character dies in the first book, so the second book is about how her friends are trying to revive her. it's bogus.


lucas- kevin brooks

kevin brooks is one of my favourite authours. he writes about things that every teenager has to deal with, but pumps it up to a higher extreme. lucas [pretend that's underlined ms. lindsay], is about a kid who roams around the country -named lucas-, making camps for a couple days in forests. he meets this girl & they become really good friends. then one day this girl named rose is nearly beaten to death, & the whole town blames lucas [besides his new found friend & her father].


kissing the rain- kevin brooks

i think all of kevin brooks's book are amazing. he's an amazing authour & can write in various styles, still making the story incredibly interesting. this book is about an overweight teenager who's an outcast. to make himself forget about school he has this special spot on this bridge that he just sits down & watches the cars go by. but one night while he was there he witnessed a murder. the whole book is about how he gets caught up in the trial & how he has to make a decision. unfortunately the people he's dealing with are viciously brutal, & nearly beat his only friend to death. the way the book is written is super cool- brooks capitalizes important words in each sentence.


sirena- donna jo napoli

i've always loved loved loved the idea of a siren. half mermaid half woman. or half bird half woman. it never really mattered how they looked- it's what they did. sirena is about a siren who -after killing a fleet of sailors- is devastated & runs [more like swims] away to an abandoned island in order to restrain herself. but after a couple of months on the island, she sees a ship come & place a body on the beach. as she gets closer, she realizes it's a man who's been bitten by hera's sea serpent. she takes care of the man, & once he wakes up, they fall in love [& she didn't even use her magical singing voice]. but then a decade later the ship comes back & is surprised to find him alive. he tells them that he's not going back to greece & would much rather stay on the island -but since sirena & him had sex, she became immortal while he still ages- so she tells him to go & he does. men...


fat kid rules the world- k. l. going

this book was super. it's about a fat kid [no duh] & a skinny homeless kid. the fat kid is an outcast [sound familiar?] & is about to commit suicide by jumping in front of a metro train but the skinny guy saves him. they become friends [in a really weird way- you'll have to read the book to find out how] & then the skinny kid invites the fat kid to become his drummer in his band. the fat kid is like "yeah okay whatever" but can't really play that well [he pukes when he walks out on stage in one of their gigs]. the skinny kid however, is a druggie & o.d.'s on cough medicine cause he had pneumonia & wouldn't stop taking pills. but while he's in the hospital stealing other people's medication & hiding it in a plant- chubby learns to be a rock n roll superstar.


schooled- gordan korman

about a hippie kid who lives with his hippie grandma, but when the grandma falls off a ladder while picking fruit off a tree, he has to go live with this very modern family while she recovers. he attends this public school where at first he's the biggest dork there, but then after a while he's mr. popular. his simple minded kindness rubs off on the other kids, & the school & people in it totally changes. it's a pretty easy book to read but enjoyable.


the hunted- elmore leonard

god awful book. completely boring, stupid, unbelievable, & downright annoying. it's about this guy who went to court testifying against this muslim group, but then they started following him trying to kill him, so he went incognito in israel. but they followed him there too. then he meets this ex marine guy who helps him out, & they run away from the muslim group all the while trying to collect this briefcase of 100,000 dollars. hm... seems to me my life should be more important than money... i forbid you to read this totally worthless novel.


you've been warned- james patterson

a must read book. totally thrilling, suspenseful, & creepy. it's about a lady who's a babysitter and photographs as a hobby, & is also having an affair with the father of the children. then one day she's walking to work & she sees all these people around a hotel. there are four body bags lying on the ground, so she starts taking pictures. then she goes to work, does the dad, goes home, develops the film, but notices that the images of the body bags are translucent. so she freaks out & is like "yikes my film has gone bad." but then she learns that the hotel murder never happened. and after that she starts getting weird visions of her dead father, a dead detective, & other dead things. one day she decides to take her camera to work with her, & snaps a couple of shots of the father she's having an affair with & his wife & children. but when she develops the film, she notices the strange effect again- but only on the husband & wife. it's an amazing amazing amazing book that i never wanted to stop reading.


hold me tight- lorie ann grover

pretty boring actually. it's about a young girl in grade school who has this pregnant mother when her father leaves. then a boy in her class is kidnapped. the book is mostly just about how she copes with her feelings. i didn't particularly like it -authour plays on your sympathy too much- except this one phrase that i can't seem to forget. so the girl is always complaining that no one loves her & how no one wants her as a daughter, & then that boy is kidnapped by his father's client & she says "he wanted a child so bad he stole someone else's." when i read that it was like *ssssslap* but otherwise than that... below average book.


egged- jerry spenelli

okay book. nothing special about it. it's about this [about ten years old] boy who's mother died & then he meets this [about thirteen years old] girl & they become like brother & sister. they both feel neglected & decide to run away to see this man that waves at the cars that pass by on the street. i still remember the last line of the book. primrose: "i know why he just stands there waving." boy: "why?" primrose: "because they wave back."


secret circle- l. j. smith

smith writes really cool books about vampires, witches, devils, etc. the secret circle is about this girl who has to move to maine with her mother because her grandma is ill. but she doesn't want to because she met this boy that she's now obsessed with. so then when she moves up north she learns that she lives in a neighborhood where all the kids are witches [including boys]. she's then bullied pretty bad by this girl at school [whenever it happens it makes me wanna cry. smith does a really good job at making you feel horrified] but then everyone realizes that she's a witch too. so she joins this secret circle [wow didn't see that one coming] & has to destroy this spirit that keeps killing people in their town. but then she meets the guy she was obsessed with only to find out his girlfriend is the leader of the secret circle.


thirsty- m. t. anderson

good book. once again it's about vampires... so the main character is this teenage guy who goes to this hanging of this "vampire." but as the vampire lady is being led past him she whispers that he's one of them too & he's all like "no way hose." but later as he is walking alone on the beach this man approaches him & says he needs his help defeating this other species of vampires & in return he won't turn into one. so this stupid kid is like "okay!" but after a couple of months realizes that he's helping the wrong team.


interview with a vampire- ann rice

yay another vampire book! but this one is actually sorta kinda more famous. sooo. the whole book is an interview. this young journalist goes to visit this vampire & the vampire tells the story of how he became what he is & yadda yadda. it's an interesting book, written back in new orleans when there were slaves. it's pretty gruesome, a lot of neck tearing [no way really?], but at the same time a lot of affection [nice mixture]. i found it to be too long, too many things happening in too many places. super hard to follow. it's like "wait are they back in new orleans or in france? hey when did they move to ireland?" the language is also pretty difficult to understand. this isn't exactly light reading before bed.


define normal- julie anne peters

hard to believe. it didn't seem real. it's about two girls, both going through a hard time, that are total opposites. one's a half shaven purple haired freak while the other is a nerdy way too skinny dork. they're both having problems with their parent's; purple hates her while skinny's dad is gone & mum is mental AND she has to take are of her younger brothers. so they're each told separately to council the other one [duo psychiatric help that they don't know about] & end up becoming good friends. the problem with this book though is that i found it hard to believe. they're supposed to be in grade eight but they act like college kids. it's especially unbelievable how julie anne peters makes purple & her friends into mohawk druggies. i mean seriously... how many eighth graders do you know that have orange mohawks & eyebrow piercings?



the gospel according to larry- janet tashjian

a story about a teenage philosopher named josh something other. THIS BOOK IS THE FREAKING BEST BOOK I HAVE EVER READ. so this is how it goes: josh's mother dies & to keep himself occupied he creates this website under a fake name -larry- & posts these sermons about his ideas about the world [mostly about advertisements & how they brainwash our minds]. well over a year or so this larry guy starts to become bigger & bigger, till pretty much everyone knows about him. no one knows it's actually josh, & at schools all over america they develop larry fan clubs & create stickers & pins with his logos on it. then one day bono from U2 reads one of his sermons & thinks the kid is a genius, so they have this kind of "remake" of woodstock where a couple bands get together & hold weekend lasting concert about non commercial ideas. well on the sight is this person named "betagold" who swears to larry that they'll find him. well this betagold turns out to be a seventy something year old lady who DOES eventually discover josh's secret. then josh/larry starts getting bombarded with news reports, magazines, talk shows, product companies, etc. so he comes up with this idea of faking his own death. he sets it up so people think he jumped off this bridge, & then hides out in the woods a couple days. but one day he's reading a newspaper & it has all these fake claims from people about stuff josh/larry did [such as rape]. so unfortunately he couldn't go back into the real world or else they would arrest him & he would spend the rest of his life getting rid of all the charges. so he wrote a manuscript while he was incognito & gave it to this authour -janet tashjian- to publish.



things left unsaid- stephanie hemphill

i reeeally didn't like this book. it was fake fake fake fake faaaake. so what happens is this; high school girl. bored with her life. tired of being bossed around by her best friend. girl meets other girl. other girl is dark, dangerous, rebellious. girl becomes dark, dangerous, rebellious. then other girl tries killing herself. girl gets really depressed, but has an epiphany & changes her clothes back to colourful. girl then meets guy, they start going out, & then she gets lead role in this play at school. then when other girl gets let out of rehab, girl is like- "oh no way we're still friends." it's pretty stupid actually. the main character writes a letter to the suicidal girl & it's an invitation to move forward in life & be as happy as her. i actually secretly hate her, i mean SHE was the one clinging onto everyone desperate for a "style." & she just picked one, like how someone picks their favourite can of soup from the pantry, & decides that that's "her style now." it's ridiculous. this authour tries too hard to be heard through a teenager's voice, & it doesn't fit. because frumpy 50 year olds don't KNOW how it is to live like a modern teen.